Celina and Oliver

Name: Celina

Child: Oliver, 6 months old

Location: Manchester

Expectations of Motherhood: I didn’t really know what to expect. I guess I was worried that ‘The fun years’ chapter would close, i.e. no more nights out, hanging out with friends or trips to the cinema, and that I somehow would go through a quick metamorphosis into a very mumsy mum, which didn’t happen. Phew!

So far we are managing just fine, with small adjustments here or there, and so I feel like I’m enhancing the fun years chapter. 

Having said that I have some expectations of myself as a mum and how I want to raise my little boy. He’s only 6 months old, so we are still yet to see how many of those are just ‘ideas’ that will not work in real life. 

Reality of Motherhood: I love being a mum! I still go ‘Am I really a mum?’ every time I say this. The reality of being a mum is an emotional rollercoaster, you have good and bad days. You’re constantly learning on the job, worry a lot and have little sleep. Some days you feel like “you’ve got this”, and the others you’re a total mess in pyjamas at 5pm… 

There are two surprising things for me. Firstly, that I love like I’ve never loved before, and somehow I love my baby more and more each day, and secondly, so far, I have been able to stay super calm in stressful situations. For example, when we needed to take him to kids A&E when he was 4 months old. With a sudden great responsibility over someone so vulnerable you stay focused. 

Taking your child home for the first time: My waters had broke on Monday 25th July and Oliver was born on Wednesday 27th. I had a high temperature after labour and so we both got antibiotics to prevent infection, and stayed in hospital for 5 days after. I was a little bit disappointed that we couldn't go home straight away, but also relieved at the same time, as I got a lot of help at the hospital and could slowly get to know my little guy. 

Leaving the hospital after 5 days with a new baby was overwhelming. I felt like I was leaving behind the old Celina who arrived care and child free to the hospital 5 days before. The new Celina who was leaving was a responsible mum. 

I was very happy - emotional after the childbirth - which I found amazing, beautiful and life changing, but also felt totally shell shocked... On top of that I was also quite worried about bringing our son home, as we have a very possessive Springer called Emma, who loves her human daddy a lot!

Our arrival was highly emotional for all of us, Emma was running around the house and panting trying to work out what’s going on and both of us wept while trying to cuddle her. In the end things worked out and she’s found plenty of room in her heart for another man.

The best/worst advice: The worst, or maybe just annoying advice was ‘sleep when baby is asleep’. How about... ‘I want to sleep at night! My body clock is telling me to stay awake because it’s the middle of the day, and I need to sterilise the bottles’!

The best advice, would be to listen to your intuition. As soon you’re pregnant, people feel entitled to impose their experiences, opinions and advice on you. I know that people are trying to help and also re-living their early parenthood, but as a new, and first time mum, I want to get to know my baby and learn to take care of him, which comes often from my intuition. 

The hardest parts of being a mother: I’m quite an anxious person as it is, but when you're a mum, you worry all the time; ‘Is he warm enough?’ ‘I hope he’s not too hot’. Any rash, cough, sneeze… 
I’m not as bad as I was when he was only days and weeks old, but as my mum said, this feeling of worrying never goes away. To be honest, I am not entirely sure how my mum has allowed me to live in a different country!

Disturbed sleep is a killer. It makes you tired, grouchy, snappy and not yourself. This has an impact on your relationship, which is always quite rocky after having a baby. I had never ever expected that I’ll be arguing over who had more sleep! I’m actually giggling writing this. 


The best parts of being a mother: Being able to love someone so much and being loved! My heart melts every time Oliver raises his hands towards me. I feel like I want to turn round in a double-take like, ‘Is he talking to me?’ 

Also, seeing them grow and develop! They change so much during the first year; from this tiny newborn to a proper little boy or girl. It’s absolutely mind blowing for me!


And finally, being able to rediscover the world through your child’s eyes and be silly. I’ve always been very silly around my friends and quite professional (for the Ad industry anyway) at work. 

I have never been around children and so I never knew how to interact with them, and any attempt of interacting with them made me feel awkward. As I am on maternity leave now and spend a lot of time around kids and babies I’m getting totally relaxed and silly around them. 

Has becoming a mother changed you? Totally! My priorities have totally shifted, my routine and the way I spend my time have changed. I want to make the world a better place for him.

Hopes for your family: I want my family to enjoy simple life, things that we took for granted when we were young. I want our son to play outside, climb trees, eat healthy food, not care about taking selfies (that his mum’s job ha ha) or spend days in front of the telly. I just want us to be happy, healthy and have fun. 

What advice would you offer to new and expectant mums? To new mums, go with the flow, enjoy every second and do not wish for another milestone. Although, I know how difficult this is. They change so quickly that you should enjoy every split second!

To expectant mums, please do not worry about giving birth. For some reason, people always share horrific stories about childbirth, and our culture is full of them too. Does it hurt? Of course, it hurts, but our bodies have been designed to do it. Trust yourself, your body is powerful and it will amaze you! 

Extra Info: I’m currently enjoying maternity leave and pretty much the best time of my life! I have set up a fitness & lifestyle blog to document this year, which ended up being a great platform to meet many wonderful mums! Follow me or message me! Let’s unite, inspire, collaborate and empower each other!

My blog - www.53weeksoff.com

instagram.com/celinaks

Holly and Florence

Name: Holly 

Child: Florence, 15 months

Location: Chorlton, Manchester

Expectations of Motherhood: I really thought my entrepreneurial spark would kick in whilst I was on maternity leave and that I'd have plenty of spare time in the day. I expected to be nursing my baby in one arm and typing away on the computer with the other. I thought I'd have a business up and running and my first novel drafted (I've always fancied myself as a successful novelist). I expected to be a "lady that lunches", who carries her baby around in a sling wherever I went, looking all "yummy mummy" in my skinny jeans, having picnics in the park and jogging with my stroller. That's what I'd seen on Instagram and that's what I thought I'd be! (How wrong I was). 

Reality of Motherhood: My baby doesn't really sleep or nap without me! So I spent the first 9 months of her life pinned underneath her on the couch or with her attached to my boobs. Which meant my spare time for productive business brainstorming and social networking just didn't really materialise. Instead I lay on the couch, watching series records of America's Next Top Model, Australia's Next Top Model, Britain's Next Top Model...you get the drift. It wasn't until Flo was 10 months old that I found the odd half hour of spare time creeping in here and there, whilst she was happy playing and amusing herself, by which point I was generally exhausted and just happy for a bit of time on Facebook.Then by about a year, I finally got to launch my business and start to get my sanity back (sort of) and now at 15 months, she's just started sleeping more than 3 hour chunks and I realise what it feels like to not be completely and utterly exhausted all the time. Oh and another reality of motherhood for those of you that decide to breast-feed is leaky boobs...un-glamourous, but a reality.

Taking your child home for the first time: This is probably one of the most surreal moments of a parent's life. You've just been through the crazy, emotional, draining experience of giving birth and you're suddenly faced with looking after another living thing...a teeny tiny living thing that totally depends on you. Then, sleep deprived, sore and bewildered, you're discharged and sent on your merry way to go forth and parent. But no one tells you what you're actually supposed to do next! It's supposed to come naturally isn't it?

Well the journey home was fine, she slept and it all seemed totally doable. We were then welcomed home by the dog and the grandparents (who thankfully had a curry waiting for us!) and everyone cooed and enjoyed some cuddle time with her. Then she started crying. And she pretty much cried on and off for the rest of the evening and into the night and we had no bloody idea what we were supposed to do...feed? change her nappy? cuddle her? And we both looked at each other and all we wanted to do was sleep, having been awake for the last 36 hours and I remember saying to my husband "but when do we sleep? how do we actually do this without sleep?". Well that was just the beginning, but as if mother nature has it all figured out, you kind of just do it and get used to it and each day gets a tiny bit easier. 



The best/worst advice: The best advice I probably had was to just go with your intuition. You really do get this sixth sense when you become a mother and you just sort of know what your baby wants and what's best for them. You'll be given such a huge amount of information, advice and opinions when you're pregnant and a new mum (most of which is useless) that it's all a bit overwhelming. If your baby is generally healthy and happy, you're doing something right!

I wouldn't say I've received any bad advice, but probably just had some advice delivered in an insensitive way (which you'll get used to as a new mum). People generally meaning well, but telling you that you're "creating a rod for your own back by doing that..." or "oh, your baby should be sleeping through the night by now...perhaps you should do something differently..." (as if I like to be woken every 2 hours for 12 months straight!). 

The hardest parts of being a mother: There'll be a familiar theme to this...sleep...or lack thereof. I genuinely never thought I could feel so utterly exhausted and deflated as I have on occasion since becoming a mum. Genuinely you plod on and your baby's gorgeous smiling face and utter unconditional love does everything to pull you through the difficult days. But there's a reason that sleep deprivation is used as torture - because it's hell! 

Wanting to have more energy to try that sleep-training you've been told is the key to your baby sleeping through the night, or to skip along to the next baby sensory group, but not being able to muster enough energy to get dressed in a manner that is acceptable for leaving your house, is seriously hard. But know that you're not alone. Despite all the well turned-out, happy, smiling mums you'll come across, nearly every one of them is feeling or has felt exactly the same as you. There's something cruel but comforting about that fact. 

Oh and breast-feeding. It's hard. Not for everyone of course, but for a lot of women. So don't beat yourself up about it if you're finding it tough and don't suffer in silence. Speak to people, ask for help. It does generally get easier, but those first weeks (and months) can be really really hard. And if it's not happening, bottle feed or combination feed. As long as your baby eats, it doesn't really matter where the milks coming from. You have so many things to take in as a mum and to try and do for your baby, having mum-guilt over anything is a waste of your energy. 

The best parts of being a mother: Gosh where do I start? I used to roll my eyes when a new mum would say, "It's the best thing ever" and coo over their baby like they're the first child to exist or break wind or eat a piece of banana. But it really bloody is the BEST THING EVER! Don't get me wrong, it can be lonely, exhausting and anxiety-inducing, but it really is a privilege to be a parent. I get so much out of every little thing that Flo does and watching her respond to the world around her is so satisfying. I love her cuddles when she's sleepy and the way she arches her back and farts in the morning before waking up. I love the utter trust she has for me and her Dadda and that even when she's grizzly and crying, she still claps along as we sing "If you're happy and you know it". I love that she finds it hilarious when she blows a raspberry and that her first word was "Peppa" because she loves Peppa Pig (says a lot about our parenting skills). I love her little dance moves when one of her favourite songs comes on. And I love that I get to be a part of her world and existence and hopefully be a positive role model for her in her life. Her smile and cheeky grin has the power to make even the toughest of days completely wonderful. Cheesy I know, but completely true. 

Has becoming a mother changed you? I would say me as a person, no. I am still the same Holly. I still like a few too many glasses of Prosecco occasionally and I still love to spend time with my hubby and friends (with or without Flo). But I would say it's made me realise just how strong I am. It's given me a new sense of confidence and self-appreciation. It's made my outlook on life slightly different and it's made me even more driven to create as lovely-a-life as possible for my little family. 

Hopes for your family: I hope that we can bring Flo up as a progressive-thinking, open person, who is keen to experience new things and get the most out of life. We'd definitely like to continue to grow our family...not just yet, but in the future we hope Flo will have a little brother or sister. We're content with enjoying her for now though. 

What advice would you offer to new and expectant mums? I would say go to your antenatal classes (NCT are great for meeting like-minded people in your local area) and once you're recovered from labour and feeling up for it, get out. There's nothing better than fresh air and although you'll be scared and apprehensive and unsure of how to do almost everything, just do it. That feeling really does pass and the sooner you get out there, the quicker you'll feel like yourself again. And go to baby classes. Even if they sound a bit silly, they really are the best way to socialise and for your baby to socialise. They'll be the best £4 or £5 you've ever spent. You'll meet lots of other mums and dads and create a support network for yourself, which is vital for new mums as it can sometimes feel very lonely. And eat cake! Don't worry about getting your "pre-baby body" back. Your body has just been through an immense thing and you'll be lacking sleep and guess what? you'll need carbs and sugar. So just let yourself go with it for a while and don't beat yourself up about your new found addiction to cakes. 

I took redundancy whilst on maternity leave and although completely terrifying, it was the best thing that could have happened. It gave me the kick up the bottom to go it alone and start my own Wedding Planning business, work with my husband's agency Six & Flow, and concentrate on my blogging, which is my creative outlet. So now I get to do the things I love as a job, whilst having the flexibility to work part-time and spend as much time as I can with my daughter. This is the sort of thing that people dream of doing and think it's not possible, but I'm here to say that it is. You've just got to have a leap of`faith and give it a go! Don't let any job or person make you think that you can't do it because you're a mum. Don't let people overlook you for that promotion or side-track your career progress because you've started a family. Fact is, you're probably more efficient than most others because you know how to juggle about 10 things at time, whilst holding a baby and conducting a conversation. Believe in yourself and your abilities, this is the time to give it a go!

My blog - http://hollygoeslightly.co.uk
My wedding planning business - http://nicolandwood.com
Six & Flow - http://sixandflow.com
My twitter: @HollyNicol

Becky and Eleanora

Name: Becky

Child: Eleanora

Expectations of motherhood: My expections of motherhood were not quite as straight forward as I’d hoped as I had a very difficult pregnancy and was in and out of hospital throughout. To cut a long story short, me and Eleanora are both extremely lucky to both be here.  

It meant a very difficult start; having 2 weeks on the neo-natal unit and being told what I could and couldn’t do with my daughter. This was very hard and any first instincts got pushed to one side. However, my expectations of being able to enjoy my child and be at home with her to watch her grow into a beautiful little girl have reached beyond belief. I never realised how much I would learn from her and how quickly she would learn from me. Watching her grow, from feeding herself to dressing herself and how pleased she is with herself to have achieved something - makes me the proudest mum.

Reality of being a mother It hit me when I realised that this little person needed me and was completely dependant on me. As Eleanora has grown she has continued to amaze me and I am always surprised by how independent she wants to be. As hard as it is I realise that I have to step back and let her do things for herself, and that she is becoming a very bright, confident little girl who I can be very proud of!

Taking you child home for the first time: When we took Ellie home for the first time I found it very strange as I’d had two weeks of being told what I could and couldn’t do with my own baby and all instincts had been pushed to the back of my mind by that time. I felt as if I had to relearn all my instincts again! But I found I enjoyed every moment of being on my own with her at long last and I could finally start to get know my baby.

The best/worst advice: When I came home I felt I had to check everything by ringing my mum or my mum in law - my mum said to me, "You have instincts, use them. You know your own baby better than anyone!" and, "enjoy every moment because I really don’t know where the time has gone." I try to enjoy every moment as it really is precious.

The hardest parts of being a mum: Probably the lack of sleep. I went back to work when Eleanora was 15 months old, and to spend as much time with her as possible I worked in the evenings. The shifts were quite late which meant I didn’t get home till gone 11.30pm some nights, and having to carry on on with a routine as normal or having been up all night with teething or illness, I often felt a walking zombie (but I wouldn’t have changed anything as it meant I could still be an almost full time mum).

The best parts of being a mum: I really wouldn’t really know where to start! I love watching Eleanora grow into a beautiful, confident little girl. Children are like sponges, they soak up so much information so quickly and I’m finding I’m not really having to teach as such, she just watches and learns so much from everyday life. I love it when when we have our own time, simple things like we’ll have a bath or take the dog for a walk and just talk about anything and everything.

Eleanora loves anything about the outdoors - she is so active. I love watching her taking in the environment around us if we’re in the fields or in the woods. She always manages to spot flowers or mushrooms. Everything is an adventure and I find I get to relive my second childhood and learn new things I may have missed out on the first time round!

Hope for your family: I hope Eleanora continues to live and love life as she has done and I hope she will be happy in all she does. I hope to have another child so that she can grow up enjoying the company and have a closeness a sibling may bring - but for the time being she enjoys having a pet dog and has learnt to share and play with him as she would have having a sibling. The only thing she did point out is that he won’t count when playing hide and seek! 

Any advice for new or expectant mums: The only advice I can give is that a child doesn’t ask to be born, you choose to have a baby so enjoy every moment as it is truly precious. Time really does go far too quick and you will never get those years back. Also as much as people say there are text books you can read, its rubbish. Do what you're comfortable doing and remember you don’t have to listen to those who think they know it all.

Lucy and Oliver

 Name: Lucy 

Child: Oliver, 4 and 1/2 months

Location: Manchester

Expectations of Motherhood: I think I had fairly realisitic expectations of motherhood, having seen so many friends and family go through it. I had prepared myself for a big lifestyle change. I expected to be tired, worried about doing things wrong and permanently covered in sick. I tried to prepare myself mentally for what life would be like with a difficult baby, although I never got much further than thinking 'please God don't let me have a difficult baby'!

Reality of Motherhood: I have been blessed with a very chilled, happy little boy who rarely cries. Phew! I am tired, worried about doing things wrong and permanently covered in sick!! The thing which, although anticipated, I never really understood until having experienced it is the physical and mental impact of tiredness. Months of broken and limited sleep really takes its toll and some days the smallest thing can seem like an absolute disaster. The other thing which took me by surprise is how continuous the feeding cycle is in the early weeks. My lifestyle has of course had to change, it isn't possible to go off to the cinema or the pub on a moment's notice, there is always the little man to think about. However I am not a clingy mummy, he's been going into the creche at the gym since he was six weeks old and I left him overnight with his Daddy and Grannie at 10 weeks so that I could go to Munich to see Take That. I think allowing myself some time away from baby, knowing he is in the best care, has been very good for me.

Taking your child home for the first time: Firstly, I was pleased purely to be getting out of hospital (I'd only been in overnight but that was more than long enough!). I didn't feel as overwhelmed by the occasion as I thought I would, I was just very excited for us to start our family life together and to get to know Oliver properly, but of course a little apprehensive - how would I cope if he was 'a cryer' etc. He had taken to breast feeding very easily but even so my main concern was how I would know if he was getting enough to eat. It definitely helped knowing that a mid-wife would be calling the next day, and over the following couple of weeks so keep an eye on things. It wasn't until I started expressing and could physically see the milk that I stopped worrying that he was not getting enough to eat. The first day back Oliver's dad had baked a pie for dinner with 'Mummy' written in pastry on the top which was lovely, and he took over cooking and cleaning duties for a few weeks which meant I could focus completely on Olliver's need which was fantastic.

The best/worst advice: Best advice was to start expressing and feeding from a bottle very early on (I did one bottle a day from 8 days). It meant Oliver never had problems switching between breast and bottle. I don't think I've had too much bad advice, but people had told me to give the baby some Calpol before going for his vaccinations. Luckily I didn't use this advice as the nurse told me that there is now some scientific evidence that this reduces the effectiveness of the vaccinations.

The hardest part of being a mother: I think being permanently so tired has been the hardest thing as it throws everything out of perpsective. 

The best parts of being a mother: Oliver's smile - it melts my heart every time. And just watching him grow and develop day by day, he really is a little miracle. Being parents has also brought Mark and I closer together than ever.

Hopes for your family: Mark and I are just so excited about every stage of Oliver's development and what the future holds for us. I'm looking forward to playing with him, talking with him, watching him play football with his dad, days out, family holidays etc etc but overall I just want us all to remain healthy and happy.

What advice would you offer to new and expectant mums: 1) don't try and follow rigid routines dictated in books. The odd baby may be able to follow them but most people I know have just become frustrated and upset trying to. Whilst I have taken some very useful tips from books and used them to gain an understanding of babies' basic needs and behaviours I have found it much easier to follow Oliver's natural rhythms. 2) Remember your baby is an individual and there is no point comparing him/her to other babies. 3) When you are having a 'bad day' or melting down over something, try and sit back and ask yourself if things are really bad or if lack of sleep is just making it seem that way. 9 times out of 10 you will be able to see that if you had had a good night's sleep you wouldn't be stressing about the situation at all. Just telling myself that often helped me to feel better.