Nina, Ada and Edith

Name: Nina 

Children: Ada, 3 years 8 months, Edith 1 year, 8 months

Location: Ramsbottom

Expectations of motherhood: With my first, I think I thought it would be like having a doll who just did whatever I needed them to do. We'd carry on our normal lives with a cute little person to hang around with. From labour onwards that fantasy was blown away....instead I got a real baby! 

Second time I was better prepared for all the stuff I wasn't prepared for 1st time. But still, there was the shock of getting a child who was entirely different to the first. My mum told me that you spend such a long time fantasising about your baby before and during pregnancy that when your own arrives you almost grieve for the one you didn't have. 

Once you've adjusted you can't imagine a different child, until, of course, you have another. Oh yeah, I had girls too! Not one, TWO! That wasn't in my imagined family either, I just thought I'd have boys like everyone else in my family. 

Reality of motherhood: it's the hardest job I've ever had to do. EVER. The responsibility is mind blowing & often overawing. Babies and children do not do what you require them to do, and therefore I found myself challenged from the very first moment I was passed my 'beautiful' pooping, screaming, red and angry baby. 

Bam, guilt!!!!! No one really told me about the guilt. The Guilt. 'Could do better' is written in invisible ink all over my every fibre. Is it worth it? Of course. 

Another sometimes harsh reality is the seismic shift of every other relationship you hold dear. Becoming a parent changes everything. How you see your husband, friends, parents and well, everyone. I have a new found sisterhood around me, other mummies. Born from tearful, exhausted confessions of a sleep deprived new parents at baby groups, in the park, cafes, work, anywhere really. I sniffed out, with expert detective eyes, other mothers, who appeared like me, to be bumbling through; other mums that forgot obvious essential items like......oh I've forgotten already. I clung on to their stories, identifying with their anguish and admiring their strength. I made new and significant friendships. I became closer to my own mother & mother in law. 

Taking your children home: We were desperate to get home with Ada and begin our journey into parenthood. 

We asked strangers on the hospital corridors to take pictures. 

We fiddled with car seats & coats and blankets and everything it seemed. 

I held her tiny hand all the way while daddy escorted his precious cargo home. 

My head full of fears and hope, rabbit and headlights springs to mind. 

With Edith, after a near perfect re-enactment of her sister's exit from hospital we were less fearful and more confident so called at the supermarket to get supplies. We pushed our newest bundle around and my heart swelled every time someone peeped at her and gave the sigh of delight at the sight of delicious squidgy newborn. 

With my second I had a better idea of what I wouldn't do. I wanted to feel in control. I wanted to call the shots. I wanted visitors to come on my terms. I grew some bigger mummy balls. Still got slapped with a big dollop of guilt though. 

Best/worst advice: All my best advice has come when I felt a person is being real. I felt other mums loosen up when I've shared yet another mummy fail and not edited my experiences and advice to be that of a perfectly calm and rational earth mother (because I am not one of those it transpires). Who knew? 

It seems I am fairly good at being a bit crap at it all but I tried to laugh. Parenting is not a competition, there are no prizes (other than your own adorable bundle of joy of course) so if you're gonna turn it into one, I don't wanna hear. Tell me a story about peeing the bed on the first evening postpartum & slipping in your own puddle of piss while your baby is trying to latch on to your elbow then I'm all ears. 

The hardest parts of being a mother: The fear and guilt. Learning to laugh is a life saver. The realisation that this shit is real for the next 20 years is scary as hell. Also, 2nd time as a large cloud crept up around me the hardest thing was seeking help, but it was the best thing I could have done. 

Has motherhood changed you? Aside from the physical changes, the extra 2 stone I carry and a bladder with a mind of its own, the changes are positive. I may no longer have a social life, clean clothes, a tidy house, disposable income, time or sleep but I do have 2 awesome little angels. Two sisters who throw their arms around each other & declare 'huggle', who pull each other's tops up to blow rasp berries on their tummies, who cry if the other is hurt, who feed each other & fall out, who hold hands, who watch each other's backs. These 2 little humans are the best replacements for anything I had before.

Hopes for your family? I wish for my family to be able to find laughter and love at the centre of everything. I wish for our girls to grow into citizens with a conscience & desire to take part. I hope my girls grow up to respect themselves & and others. I hope my girls know how loved they are. I hope my girls continue to watch each other's backs. I hope my girls are never afraid, but if they are, to come to us.
Advice for new mums: All the obvious stuff, enjoy every nano-second, take loads of pics blah de blah. But really, be yourself, remember who you are and don't try & be super mum. Do what's right for you and your family and trust your gut mumma instincts always. Ask for help and remember, everything is never usually as it may seem. Don't look at others and compare, look at your child and their awesomeness and use that as a measure of how well things are going.

Rebecca, Winnie and Pearl

Name: Bec

Children and ages: Winnie, 5 years and Pearl, 3 years

Location: Old Trafford

Previous blog entry: http://www.the-mothers.co.uk/p/about-me.html

Life since the last blog post: There are no major changes in our family. I think perhaps things are at the point where parenting is slowly but surely getting a little easier though. Things are good.

I’m fully aware, while writing this, however, that I’m temporarily in a positive phase of parenting. I’ll be cursing myself in a couple of weeks; counting down the seconds to bedtime and using a nice big glass of wine as the carrot at the end of a long, hard day.

Motherhood since last being on the blog: When I last wrote my answers for the blog I was definitely in a ‘honeymoon phase’ with Pearl, my second daughter.

I do believe that having a second baby when we did was the best decision we made, but we really did not feel ready at the time. We suspected that in the long-run having two children close in age would make sense so took a risk. And, thankfully, when she was born Pearl was everything that Winnie wasn’t: easy to read, predictable, happy (sorry Winnie). It made the whole experience of motherhood so enjoyable. I feel so lucky to have had it this way; I could ‘enjoy every moment’ as you are so often told to with your first baby (even though there’s no way you can). I found myself just relaxing. I was not stressed at all. We didn’t do too many baby groups because I didn’t feel the need to. I had a good set of mum friends, and felt totally secure in my ‘mum’ role by this point. 

It made me realise that the hardest thing to deal with after having your first baby isn’t that you’ve got a difficult baby, it’s that you are having to change so many aspects of your life at the same time as bringing up a difficult baby. Everything changes: relationships, responsibilities, career, social life, and it all has to be negotiated whilst you are getting very little sleep. Second time round the only tricky changes you have to make are logistical - like working out childcare, for example. You’re already a mum and your partner is already a father at this point. But saying that, petty arguments were perhaps more commonplace at first for us, as we realised that family time and work time were such a difficult set of variables to balance. We spent time, and still do, praying that some higher power might decide to extend days to 30 hours long rather than 24, or having 3 day weekends rather than 2. This is yet to happen, and so we still continue to debate the pointless topic of who is busier and who is more tired again and again and again. 

Has motherhood changed you? When the honeymoon period ended with Pearl I started to really crave time for myself again. I didn’t particularly feel like the person I was before kids - my hair was falling out around the temples, I was going increasingly grey, I was covered in stretch marks, and the weight continued to sneak on. Then, I have no idea what the spark was, but one day I started to run.

My family are all runners, and for years I’d denied that I had any interest. The rebellious teenager in me always came out when they suggested I gave it a go. I was dreadful at it at first, but for some reason I stuck with it. There is definitely something about giving birth that empowers you - I suspect it’s the fact that you get through it without dying. It makes you realise you can do anything. I cannot put it into words. Before I’d always considered my willpower to be be pretty lacking, although, after starting to run I saw progress quickly and that helped.

Running became so important to me. It became an escape at the end of a long day. When my husband arrived home from work I’d put on my trainers and have half an hour on my own, watching the world go by, and not hearing, ‘mummy, mummy, mummy’. No-one whinging at me or demanding anything of me. And fresh air. Birds singing. Being rained on. Within months I felt so much more in control, and happier. I hadn’t really considered that I was unhappy before, but I think the fact that I no longer had negative thoughts about my physicality meant that I had one less stress in my life. 

I realised that actually I had pretty strong willpower, and I could use that to my advantage in other ways. So, yes, I guess I’ve got motherhood to thank for the changes I’ve made.

Hardest parts of being a mother: I do realise that there is a scale of ‘hardest’ things to cope with in parenthood, and the things I’m listing are definitely on the less devastating end of the spectrum. These are the things that are pretty insignificant, but can make day to day life feel impossible.

When Winnie started primary school I suddenly thought that things would get easier in terms of work. I had daydreams of all the work I was going to get done (in my perfectly tidy office that looked like something off Pinterest - because I’d have so much time on my hands that I’d organise everything in rainbow colour order). Oh, how wrong I was. With two children in two separate childcare scenarios, timing was and is tricky. And, being freelance, not knowing when the next job’s coming in, I couldn’t justify putting them in full-time childcare either, and at the same time I didn’t want to.
(If any freelancers have found the perfect solution I’d love to hear.)  

Other hard things are: 1. The time between 3.30pm and bedtime. Everyone’s tired, and running low on energy. That’s why kids need food and parents need coffee at this time of day. It is always made easier, however, when you’re with other parents (or at least out of the house) in my opinion. 2. When your child is made sad by someone else. It’s pretty gut-wrenching the first time you see your child affected by something someone else has said or done. 3. It was hard when I found out Winnie needed glasses (despite the fact she refused to wear them in these photos - but this is another issue). I felt temporarily really sad for her, and I thought I’d really miss seeing her lovely, innocent spectacle-free face. I got over that almost instantly when I realised she wasn’t bothered about wearing glasses at all. 4. Whinging is torturous - it’s like a really unassuming headache; it makes you feel exhausted yet it takes ages to notice what is is that’s making you feel so agitated. 5. Oh yeah, and hearing your name a million times a day is up there too. 

Best parts of being a mother: 1. Siblings interacting (nicely) with each other. 2. Reaching that stage parents of older children talk about when the children go downstairs on their own in the morning and can make their own breakfast. 3. Seeing them behave impeccably in front of strangers. 4. Brief, in-depth conversations that you have with them that give you a little glimpse into their lives without you. 5. Spying on them when you pick them up from somewhere and they don’t realise you’ve arrived yet. 6. Learning about the things that they specifically love or are good at. 7. Holding hands with them. 8. Uncontrollable tickle giggles. 9. Spending weekends together as a family. 10. The moments that make you think, ‘yes, this is it. This is why we had children’.



What you wish you’d known before having children: I wish I’d had an idea about how my gender could affect my career. Growing up I was lead to believe that whatever career I chose I was going to be equal to my male counterparts, but it has just not been true for me.

In having two children, in purely practical terms (by physically making 2 children) I’ve had to take time out of working. I’m therefore already behind. Then there are the really tough decisions that have to be made regarding what’s best for you and what’s best for your child: do you put them in childcare, or do give them a big chunk of your time? I don’t believe either is necessarily better than the other.

In the last five years, I have seen myself trailing behind male peers in work and it will take a lot of time and effort to make up for that discrepancy. It is the same for my male friends who have been the stay at home parents too. I think I was under the impression that I could be a career person AND a good parent. I’m still not sure if that balance is possible to reach.  

Any more advice for mothers and expectant mums: I had no idea how little co-parenting my husband and I would do. I am alone with my children a lot, and this reality never occurred to me beforehand. It is fine - no, it is fun - when they are in good spirits and I’m in good spirits, but it is not always the way. It is really hard work to be alone with a baby who doesn’t talk or interact all day. It is really isolating. For mums who feel like that, and are really experiencing the isolation, it gets much easier when they learn to talk but in the meantime surround yourself with other mums.

Lastly, It occurred to me a few months ago that actually the girls were suddenly starting to become considerably easier to look after. Their behaviour and manners were almost perfect. It seemed that five years of constant reminders about rules and behaviour, and telling them to ‘say thank you,’ and ‘say please’ and ‘shall we let your sister have a turn?’ that things were eventually starting to sink in. Good behaviour didn’t necessarily need a prompt anymore. I could sit back, around strangers, and pretty much guarantee that the girls would put on a great show. Ok, that sounds bad - perhaps the wrong word. But it seemed that after 4 or 5 long years of teaching the girls to be well behaved and polite that it had finally started to stick. So, I would definitely say to people who feel like they are hitting their head against the wall with bad behaviour and reminding children of rules, that consistency and standing your ground really does pay off in the end, but it can take a long time. 

Susie, MaryJane and Elizabeth

Name: Sue

Children: MaryJane, 4 and Elizabeth, 6 months

Location: South Manchester

Previous blog entry: http://www.the-mothers.co.uk/2011/10/sue-and-mary-jane.html

Life since the last blog post: Well, there's now another child in the picture! Elizabeth eventually came along after me having two miscarriages and surgery for endometriosis.
We've also moved house. After having our house on the market for two years we ended up moving whilst I was seven months pregnant - I wouldn't recommend it, but I'm so glad we've now done it. I started a lifestyle and events website for vintage enthusiasts residing in Manchester- which I'm now in the process of changing again to adapt to the changing market and to my personal wants and needs.

Motherhood since last being on the blog: Well having two rather than one is much easier in some ways and much harder in others. The easier parts are basically the fact that you've done it before- you can figure stuff out quicker, crying, feeding, teething etc. But the harder parts are now having two little people who both need their own routines and have their own schedules. For example MaryJane is at nursery for 3 hours every term time morning- juggling Elizabeths naps and feeding times around this has become easier but at first it was a stresspoint for me.



Has motherhood changed you?: I think I look at the bigger picture a lot more now rather than the minute details. I'm also extremely sensitive to how, and who with, I spend my time. I was never someone who suffered fools gladly previously, but now I probably much worse and cant bear being somewhere or doing something when I'm just not into it.

Hardest parts of being a mother: When the girls are poorly and when I'm poorly. Unfortunately the first 3 months after Elizabeth was born we were literally either at the local GP's clinc or the hospital every week- with one of us!

Best parts of being a mother: Watching the blossoming relationship between the girls.

What you wish you’d known before having children: How much you can feel like you are missing out on stuff, but actually realising non of it really matters.

Any more advice for mothers and expectant mums: Dont put yourself under unnecessary pressure. I wanted to breastfeed Elizabeth for 6 months, like I had done with Mj, but I ended up rather ill after the birth and I couldn't carry on. I really had to force myself not to feel like a failure. Just remember the main thing is you and baba are happy.

Susie can be found online at her sites www.oldfashionedsusie.com and www.vintagemanchester.com. She's also on Twitter at @oldfashionedsue

Kate, Rose and Cerys

Name: Kate 

Children: Rose, 4 and Cerys, 21 months-ish (I've forgotten how to calculate months the second time around. Let's say 1 and 3/4)

Location: Levenshulme

Expectations of Motherhood: My mum was 18 when she had my oldest sister and she was 26 by the time she finished with her third daughter (me). Both my parents were really hard working and we spent a lot of time with my grandparents growing up. And then when my oldest sister had kids (she is 8 years older than me) they were always around and my mum helped her out as did my other sister and me. So I guess I expected that having kids was going to be a group effort really. But being 3000 miles away from my parents and sisters (they are all in Canada) it hasn't necessarily worked out that way! Tom's parents are incredible though and when we get to Canada my family are all in there. So I guess we get the best of both.

I grew up in a very alternative household; my mum and dad split up, both parents remarried, both to women! I feel very lucky to have grown up in a gay household - my kids have so many grandmas! When we go home the whole family gets together, including my dad and his wife, and we have such a good time. Its getting harder to leave every time we go. 

My mum loves to look after people, she was a nurse before she retired, and she was always looking after friends and family who needed a place to stay or were having troubles. My best friend practically lived with us when I was in high school and she still calls my mum, mum. I can really see that in myself as I get older. I imagine being the main host of sleepovers and picking the girls up in the middle of the night when they spent all their money with none left for the bus or taxi. My mum did that for me, I expect its my turn to do the same.

I expected motherhood to be an all round messy, painful, emotional and wonderful experience I think. 

Reality of Motherhood: More or less what I expected except I'm surprisingly more tolerant to poo and far less tolerant to vomit than I thought, which surprised me. I don't know why but it did. I held plenty of my friends hair over the loo after a night out and wiped their mascara smudged faces. But give me a child's vomit and I go running to the hills. Poo on the other hand, is nothing. Its no worse than a wee (unless they poo in the bath; that's difficult). So I guess the reality of motherhood is poo is alright, vomit is bad. Basically, your kids are just tiny versions of your drunk friend whose hair you held over the loo. But stickier. And cuter. And CBeebies was the best thing ever invented. As were raisins.

Taking your children home for the first time: It was great because my mum was there, but she lives in Canada and had to leave about 3 days later (with my first) and a week later (with my second). I remember having the grandparents round looking after the babies so Tom and I could go out for a drink alone, and there was actual semi-serious talk of absconding to Mexico or similar. At the age of 28 (and still cracking really crude innuendo jokes all the time) I felt a bit out of my depth and far too immature to be having children! But thanks to the wonders of the Internet, my family group were not far away! My poor sister got texts at 5am sometimes! But then both my girls have my sisters names as middle names, so that's a fair trade-off, right?

The first time we took them to my home (Canada) was an amazing feeling. I left there one person and came back another, as a mother. That was hard for a lot of people to come to terms with! It's really important to us that the girls know that they are both British and Canadian so I painstakingly recreate all Canadian holidays from our tiny house in Levenshulme and school and nursery are forced to comply!

It's hard to remember our house without them in it now. I think we had a coffee table, I saw a picture of it the other day.

The best/worst advice: I can't put my finger on anything in particular. I got a lot of good advice and a lot of bad advice when I was pregnant the first time. Some people like to say that there is no manual to having kids - but Waterstones is absolutely full of them!

The hardest parts of being a mother: Breastfeeding - doing it, not doing it, coming to terms with it, finding peace with it. I still struggle all this time later. For me, this was the hardest part, which made all other things seem so very easy.

The best parts of being a mother: That smug feeling when you look at your children and think, 'I produced these gorgeous tiny people who are actually going to change the world'. And getting to do loads of fun crafts that you loved doing when you were little. And getting to read kids books. And making them laugh. People always think dads are the ones who make their kids laugh. They might do when they are older, but while they are babies mum is the comedian of the family.

I love seeing who my girls are turning out to be. They could not be more different, but you can really tell that they love each other. And they really love us. And we really love them. It's a great big love in at our little place in Levenshulme! They will be amazing, no matter what they decide to do in life. I can tell that already.

Has becoming a mother changed you? Considering some of my family are kind-of still shocked that I have children, I would say so, yes! But all in good ways. Except now my older one is in school, I'm becoming 'that parent'... But I make the claim that I am still as cool as I was before. I have a laugh at work and don't bombard my colleagues with stories and photos (I don't think - they might totally disagree with this) and I still like the things that I like. I think changing a little bit is good, but these kids are only on loan until they grow up and have kids themselves and so I don't want to lose too much of who I was before. I'm probably not even that cool but one can dream!

We were the fist of our peer group to have children so we still had to kind-of be ourselves with all our single, childless friends. I complained so much that they didn't have kids but actually, they kind of helped us to keep us as us. And I feel like we have paved the way for them now they are finally starting to settle down.

Hopes for your family: I hope the girls want to play games and hang out with us as they grow up. I remember always, until I was 25 and moved away, having a 'family' birthday party in addition to a kids party (which turned into clubbing when I was old enough to drink). We used to have Saturday nights every so often staying in and playing cards with my grandma, mum and my sisters. Those memories are so important. I hope that no matter where we are in the world, the UK, Canada, we will always look forward to being together when we can. I hope Tom and I can maintain our coolness as parents. When the kids are going out all the time, when they become teenagers, I'd like it if Tom and I still go to gigs and play games with friends and do the fun stuff that we enjoyed, and still enjoy, before the kids and while the kids are small.

What advice would you offer to new and expectant mums: The best advice I can offer is to have a contingency plan for everything! I'm an event planner by day so this is quite natural for me. But motherhood is definitely an event! Prepare for things to work, prepare for things not to work, prepare to have to change everything really quickly. And always have lots of food in case - it is the best way to combat any situation. And bibs. Think of as many bibs as you could possibly need and then double it. And get a few more just in case.

And go your own way. Motherhood is the strongest instinct I have ever physically felt; more than hunger or thirst. When I was in labour with Cerys, the only thing I could think about or focus on was Rose. Needing to get back to her, needing her to know that I was okay. It got me through labour. It got me home the same day. Go with your gut, you know what is right for your children and that is usually what was right for you as well. 

Kate is a (nearly) full-time event planner for the University of Manchester, a mum, a wife and a hobby seeker (she's started trying to knit, sew, cook, bake, garden, DIY, etc. Just about EVERYTHING so that as the kids grow up she can sort anything they need!). Kate is Canadian but moved here for a holiday in 2005 and never left due to an acquisition of a visa by marrying an Englishman. They are still married nearly 8 years on and has had two of his children, so this is the most elaborate sham marriage ever.

Louisa, Amelia and Lottie

Name: Louisa 

Children: Amelia, 2 yrs 7mths, Lottie, 5 mths 

Location: Didsbury

Expectations of motherhood: I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant in the first month of trying and couldn’t wait to start the next phase of my life. I used to count down the weeks and days to my due date and was so excited to meet the baby that was growing inside of me. 

My husband and I both have close relationships with our families and I looked forward to us creating that same very special family bond with our own children. 

Reality of motherhood: We didn’t actually have any close friends with children that we saw on a regular basis and in hindsight I think I was a little naïve about how difficult it would be in those early weeks. I was very well prepared in the practical sense (I had researched and bought pretty much every baby gadget going), but quite unprepared for the reality of motherhood. I found the first few months exhausting and quite stressful. I had struggled with breastfeeding Amelia and was made to feel terrible about this by a number of midwives and health visitors. This feeling of failure, that I was unable to do what is regarded as best for my baby stayed with me for a number of months, and I think contributed to other feelings of inadequacy as a mother and my continual questioning of myself and the choices I was making for my baby. 

However, my confidence grew as I began to see my daughter growing into this amazing, gorgeous, funny and unbelievably caring and loving toddler, and those thoughts from the early months are now forgotten.

When Lottie was born 5 months ago she just seemed to slot perfectly into our family and has already brought so much happiness to us all. I am loving my maternity leave and the time I am getting to spend with both of my children.

Taking your children home for the first time: Amelia was born 3 and a half weeks early and had jaundice so we were in hospital for 5 days after the birth. I was desperate to get home, having barely slept in hospital - I was too scared to sleep at night in case something happened to her whilst my husband wasn’t there and during the day the constant stream of midwives, doctors and visitors left little time for sleep. 

My mother and father-in-law were at our house when we arrived home. They had filled the house with flowers, not to mention the new bed linen and pyjamas they had bought for me and the drawer full of premature babygrows for Amelia, who weighed only 5lb 5oz. They cooked dinner for us and we ate it watching X Factor whilst Amelia slept in her Moses basket. I remember feeling so happy and relieved to be home.

That contented feeling did not last long however, as come midnight all the milk I had expressed had gone and I was really struggling with feeding. Thank goodness for formula and the 24 hour Tesco!

Bringing Lottie home was a different experience all together. She was a bigger baby, was feeding well and I felt a lot more confident about looking after her. My main concern was how Amelia would react to her baby sister. It was a truly magical moment when she arrived back from nursery, peered into the Moses basket, then looked at us with astonishment in her big brown eyes and just said ‘baby’.

Best advice: I speak to my own mum every day and she has given me lots of wonderful advice since I became a mum myself. 

Two pieces which stick in my mind are; don’t ‘google’ every minor ailment you think your baby may have. It will only fill your mind with horror stories and lead to endless, unnecessary worrying; and every phase in a child’s development is just that and won’t last for long (although I think even she was beginning to doubt this with Amelia who was a horrendous sleeper until she was 18 months old). This goes for the good things too. Try to take time every day to appreciate all the wonderful things your child does - be it their first smiles, laughs, gurgles or the hilarious phases and comments they come out with as they are learning to talk. All too soon they will be on to the next phase of development and you will never have that time back again.

Worst advice: Anything in Gina Ford’s contented baby book! I know her routines work extremely well for some mothers and babies, but I found it impossible to get Amelia to follow anything close to what she was suggesting and this added to my anxieties. Why had she woken up 45 minutes before she was supposed to? Why did she seem hungry after 2 hours rather than 3? What was I doing wrong?????

With Lottie I haven’t opened a single baby book and have let myself be guided by her. As a result I would say she is a far more contented baby because she sleeps when she is tired, is never hungry and most importantly doesn’t have a stressed and anxious mummy! 

Hardest parts of being a mother: I’d heard people talk about motherhood being tiring, but the exhaustion I felt with my first child was something I had never experienced before. She would regularly wake for 3 hours during the night and this didn’t really settle down until she was 18 months old (by which time I was pregnant with Lottie and feeling tired from that). I have basically been tired for about 3 years now! Fortunately, Lottie is a much better sleeper than Amelia was and I think my body has also become accustomed to functioning on less sleep.

The most difficult thing however, is adapting to how my relationship with my husband has changed. Pre-children, we both had careers which involved working long hours or being away from home, so it wasn’t unusual to spend time apart during the week. However, we always had weekends and holidays to get that time back and just focus on what we wanted to do, which normally involved nights out in nice restaurants and bars, safe in the knowledge that we could lie in till whatever time we wanted! Now, every day between the hours of 7am, when we are woken by Amelia shouting for mummy or daddy, to 7.30pm, when if we are lucky both children will go to sleep, they are our main focus. My husband plays football twice a week and I have recently started going to the gym a couple of times a week, so there aren’t that many evenings when we are at home together. When we are we are often knackered and just collapse on the sofa in front of the TV.

I am confident that once Lottie is a little older and we are able to leave the children with their grandparents, we will start to get some of our old life together back, but until then it does feel like a sacrifice.

Best parts of being a mother: It’s got to be the cuddles! Amelia is such a loving child and is forever throwing her arms around you to give a big heart felt hug. I also love watching my two girls starting to forge their own relationships with each other. Lottie will lie and watch Amelia for ages with a big gummy smile on her face. The other day she was on her play mat and completely unprompted Amelia bent down to cuddle her and said ‘Lottie, I love you so much’- Moments like that are truly amazing. 

Has becoming a mother changed you? It’s difficult for me to answer that. It has certainly changed me for now, but whether the old me will reappear when the children are older - I don’t know.

I have a lot less time to think about and focus on myself these days. I used to spend hours planning an outfit and getting ready for a night out and now it’s more like 10 minutes to throw on whatever I can find in my wardrobe and a bit of make up!

Becoming a mother has also had a massive impact on my career. My job was very demanding, it was fast paced with tight deadlines and often involved travelling away from home during the week, which is no longer possible with 2 small children. I am still working through how this will work once my maternity leave is finished and am hopeful of finding the right balance between a job that I find interesting and challenging and being there to care for and support my children.

Hopes for your family: It sounds like a cliché but I want the children to be happy in whatever they decide to do and without worries for as long as possible. I’d like us to provide them with as many amazing experiences and opportunities as we can, and for us to laugh together every day.

I hope the children become good friends and will be there to love and support each other.

I know there will be different challenges as they get older, but I hope that as they are able to do more for themselves, parenting will become less exhausting and one day they might let us have a lie in, or even bring us breakfast in bed! 

Advice you would offer new/expectant mums: Make sure you get out of the house every day. Even on days when you feel absolutely exhausted a half hour walk round the park can provide you with a boost of much needed energy. I’d also recommend joining different baby groups and classes. Not only can they help with the bond between you and your baby, but surrounding yourself with other new mums can provide invaluable support. When it’s 2am and you’ve fed, changed, winded and comforted your baby and they still won’t go back to sleep it’s comforting to know you are not the only person going through this!