Caroline and Rudy

Name: Caroline 

Child: Rudy, 7 months

Location: Leigh

Expectations of Motherhood: It took us two years to conceive Rudy and I was so anxious throughout my pregnancy that I don't think I really thought beyond the first couple of days to be honest. I was convinced that something bad was going to happen. I do remember the overwhelming fear that I wouldn't know what to do and that people would think I was doing a bad job. 

Reality of Motherhood: Motherhood has simultaneously proven to be the most challenging and rewarding job imaginable. I quickly realised that whilst I might not know what I was doing, you can learn on the job: babies seem to be quite forgiving like that really! 

Taking your child home for the first time: That first night was petrifying. I wish I'd taken a screen grab of my google search history that night - all the paranoia! I just wish somebody had warned me how noisy newborns are when they sleep.

The best/worst advice: 

The two best pieces of advice were:

1. Try to appreciate the night feeds - at some point in the future I'll look back and cherish that time together (as we are still doing three feeds each night it looks like I'll have a lot to look back on and remember!)
2. That babies' vests have those necklines so that you can pull them down when there has been a code brown. I just wish I'd learnt this prior to month two.

The worst advice was to sleep when the baby sleeps. Apart from the fact that he only really sleeps when we're in the car or he's being pushed in the buggy, I can't sleep when the house is a mess, there's no clean pots, I've not had a shower, I need to eat something ad infinitum.

The hardest parts of being a mother: Having to be constantly vigilant is very tiring.

The best parts of being a mother: There are so many positives it's hard to pick the best; but if pressed I'd say the sheer joy on Rudy's face when he sees me after a short spell apart. Oh, and the cuddles. They're great too. 

Has becoming a mother changed you? I feel like having Rudy changed me in so many seemingly small but hugely significant ways. I see the world through very different eyes now and I definitely appreciate the small things a lot more than I used to.

Hopes for your family: It might sound twee but I just pray we'll stay happy and healthy. We'd love more babas, but right now is perfect too.

What advice would you offer to new and expectant mums: Do what you want to do: if you don't want to go to that baby class, don't. If you don't want to meet that friend of a friend just because she had a baby at the same time as you, don't. If you Don't want to go round to great aunt Ada's who you haven't seen for ten years (for a reason) but your mum says you have to because of the baby, just don't. 

You've just grown a human. You can do what YOU want to do.